Healing HSV2

I talk a lot about healing on this page and if I am going to be completely authentic about my own healing journey, I need to talk about HSV2 or Genital Herpes. I have been feeling to share about my journey with this virus more openly, and for some reason this seems to be the moment. This is still very scary and vulnerable for me but, I believe it is important to normalize this conversation.

When I was in my early twenties I was sexually liberated. I had partners that were men and women and was becoming comfortable with my sexual fluidity. I was open, wild, and free.

Then, at 23 - exactly 10 years ago, I had a partner that not disclose to me that he had an active outbreak, and I contracted the virus. I vividly remember the moment I received the diagnosis at planned parenthood and I was completely devastated.

The following years were extremely challenging for me. While some people contract herpes and may never have an outbreak, I was on the opposite end of the spectrum. I had outbreaks almost once a month, or every other month, for the following 5 or so years. The traditional drugs gave me terrible side effects, so I began to seek out any and all forms of alternative healing.

Over the next 10 years, my life has been dedicated to learning how to manage and cure this virus. Every plant medicine, ayurvedic treatment, acupuncture appointment, diet, and everything else I tried were I quest to stop the chronic, painful outbreaks. Worse than the physical pain, was the shame that accompanied the disease - I hardly talked about it with anyone for most of my twenties. Worse yet, I bottled up my sexuality and completely stopped having intimate relationships with women — so fearful of every spreading this to another woman.

Finally, last summer after a series of outbreaks, I had a breakthrough…. I was not going to let this virus run my life anymore. I was tired of the pain, of not being able to have sex for weeks at a time, and the horrible shame. I decided to rid my body of it - once and for all.

I began with unwinding the shame. Digging deep into my psyche and emotional self to revisit any painful or shameful memory related to my sexuality. I am blessed with a powerful, supportive partner, who witnessed me speak my story of my shame out loud - ridding my being of holding the tension alone. From there, I abstained from any sexual contact for a full month with the intention of unwinding my relationship to my own sexuality. Next, I developed a dietary and herbal protocol that I followed for 3 months.

In the 7 months since this journey began, I have had 2 outbreaks, which is significantly less than I typically experience. I talked to my body through them, reassuring my cells that it is OK, and to do what they need to do.

Soon, I will embark on a deeper level of dietary and herbal protocol - including cleansing - utilizing the warm summer months to go deeper.

Sharing this story, and speaking my truth, is part of my healing... thank you for witnessing.